The summer has just about reached it’s end for most of us and this Labor Day Weekend marks another slow step into a new autumn. The fun isn't over until it's over though, and from barbecues to road-trips, we've all got something to celebrate. For those of us gamers staying home this holiday weekend, taking a vacation isn't nearly as much fun as watching our characters take on instead. I haven't done a blog quiz in ages, so now's just as good a time as ever to take you on a magical and completely fool-proof journey to the best vacations that the virtual world can offer. So take the quiz down below and find out where your gaming passions take you. Enjoy!
Note: Don't skip to the next page. Cheaters never win, I've made sure of that. . .
Question 1: Why are you going on vacation?
A) To clear my name
B) Power down from my last mission and socialize with my crew happy
C) Business and pleasure: charming the ladies fulfilling some “contracts”
D) To visit my cousins and show me mum and dad that I’m bound for great things
E) To secure my planet’s future
F) Prove myself worthy of my bloodline and slay some foul beasts on the side
Question 2: It’s time to pack. What are you taking with you?
A) Just the shirt on my back and the wallet in my hand with my parents picture
B) A caravan of suitcases for my luxurious wardrobe, money, and pointy blades
C) A big-ass sword, shield, and kick-ass helmet, complemented by my manly voice
D) Nothing but my sporty overalls, hat, gloves, and trusty water pump
E) Some very chic, 22nd century swag and maybe a Brawler pistol just in case
F) A whistle, my spacesuit, and those useless knick-knacks I’ve got stashed in my ship
Question 3: Are you bringing family/friends along for the trip?
A) I technically carry my entire bloodline or proud warriors with me, but technically? No
B) My crew’s my family
C) I’d love to bring my son one day, but these tiny, leafy things will have to do
D) My family? I’m not really sure who that really is. . .
E) My long-time sweety and a bunch of her “toady” friends. Ugh.
F) Me madre & sorella are best left out of harm’s way; I prefer my comrades company
Question 4: What are your must-have hotel accommodations?
A) A good cocktail, chatty company, a sci-fi dance club, & a comfy bed to snuggle on
B) A 24 hr. casino and luxury suits, all preferably without ghosts
C) A good inn with fresh meat, fresher ale, a library of books to read by the hearthfire
D) Spacious ceremonial halls, a trophy room, racks for my weaponry, and utter secrecy
E) My ship’s about as good a place as any, as I HATE sleeping outdoors with no food
F) A beautiful (and upclose) view of the sea
Question 5: Do you opt in or out of TSA pat-downs?
A) Opt out. I’ve already had enough creepy crawly stuff attacking me lately.
B) Neither! I shall never give up my sword or body to such foolish mortals!
C) Opt in. Never minded getting up close and personal with men/women in uniform. . .
D) Making aggressive advances are my forte, but this type reeks of conspiracy
E) Would you kindly keep you hands to yourselves sirs?
F) They can go ahead, but my this feisty pack of mine’ll probably end up dousing them
Question 6: Where’s your luggage?! What do you do now?!
A) Fus Ro Dah!!!
B) Make the thief pay. . . revenge is a dish best served by me and my brothers-in-arms
C) See if I can locate in on my radar and nab it back before sundown
D) Ask the strange man on my speaker if he knows what happened to it
E) Run around in a circle squirting the walls until something turns up
F) Fire up those grav thrusters, we’re going hunting
Question 7: How healthy are you going to be eating on your trip?
A) I’ll be on a mostly liquid diet of whatever random drugs I can pump into me
B) I’m eating as may fruits and veggies as I can scrounge up, no bug bodies for me
C) I’ll eat whatever I can get from the storage lockers or some space dock
D) Eat? My yoshi keeps eating every piece of fruit I buy
E) Whatever I can kill and skin myself
F) Only the finest homemade pastas that me madre and me zio fixed up for me
Question 8: The carnival ride has a height requirement. How tall are you?
A) Teeny tiny. I can’t even lift a bottlecap without my little alien armies’ help.
B) A huge, towering spectacle of a man that towers over any beast of the wilds.
C) Depends on whatever features my character creator can come up with.
D) Pretty short, albeit without body-enhancing mushrooms. That count as dope free?
E) Don’t really know, usually I’m just a pair of hands
F) Tall, dark, and handsome. Can’t really see my eyes, but I always look into yours.
Question 9: What pics is your vacation’s photo album probably going to have?
A) Probably drills and those cute little girls, but not in a creepy way, of course.
B) All of my awesome kills and balcony meetings with the ladies.
C) Me and my crew, toasting to the end of our amazing trilogy. It’ll be great, right?. . .
D) Pics of gross, oozing slime and some otherwise great wall-jumping selfies
E) Me flipping off a dragon before I take its head off and howl like a crazy person.
F) My field research data, personal logs, bizarre creature encounters, and treasures.
Question 10: Souvenirs?
A) An apple a day keeps the pope away
B) A hip hawaiian shirt and shades and my good name
C) I’ll be showing off all the delicious trinkets I had my tiny slaves amass for me
D) Only the knowledge that I saved humanity. And that hot babe/dude’s phone number.
E) These cool, druggy superpowers. Oh, and that horrible revelation about myself. . .
F) The finest mammoth tusk and dragon’s scales, along with my legend.
Bonus Question: Would you ever come back and visit again this place?. . .
A) For as long as my computer will run it long into the night, 400 hrs. +
B) Maybe for multiplayer and those darn flags, not that Animus deadbeat
C) Definitely, if not just for speed-running and perfectionist collecting
D) Don’t know. Making the hard choices is only as grand the first time
E) Not sure if my daughters will let me, but if ruling my own city is an option, yeah.
F) Sure, just to see myself surf on a squid again
Super Special Bonus Question: How much do you like outdoors fun?
- Yes
- No
Next: Show ‘em what they’ve won Johnny. . . [Pagebreak]
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Okay, so you’ve filled out your vacation application form. Based on the questions you’ve hopefully answered honestly and in actuality, you may now add up your points via the point formula below:
Tally your Results
Question 1: A)=9 B)=7 C)=4 D)=1 E)=5 F)=3
Question 2: A)=1 B)=4 C)=3 D)=9 E)=7 F)=5
Question 3: A)=3 B)=7 C)=5 D)=1 E)=9 F)=4
Question 4: A)=7 B)=9 C)=3 D)=4 E)=5 F)=1
Question 5: A)=5 B)=3 C)=7 D)=6 E)=1 F)=9
Question 6: A)=3 B)=4 C)=5 D)=1 E)=9 F)=7
Question 7: A)=1 B)=5 C)=7 D)=9 E)=3 F)=4
Question 8: A)=5 B)=3 C)=7 D)=9 E)=1 F)=4
Question 9: A)=1 B)=4 C)=7 D)=9 E)=3 F)=5
Question 10: A)=6 B)=9 C)=5 D)=7 E)=1 F)=3
Bonus Question: A)=4 B)=6 C)=5 D)=7 E)=1 F)=9
Your Vacationer Point Credits:
Now you’re all done! See what terrific vacation destination you’ve won!
If you scored 0 pts. or less: You’re going to Arkham City
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So, you’re the punk that skips to page 2 to see the grand prize, huh? That’s breaking the rules. As this blog is hard on crime, the only vacation you’re getting is Arkham City. You’re 5,000 days and 5,000 nights (or technically all night) will be enjoying the raucous company of your cellmates, err, beating the crap out of each other and you! Don’t worry though, you won’t die. Rather, you get to enjoy some relaxing Lazarus spa treatments courtesy of the Al Ghul center for wellness. Ya might even get free dental work from the Dark Knight himself. Aside from the beatdowns, you might even get to join the circus and be Mr. J’s new test dummy. Okay, maybe Batman’ll save you from a few muggings, but don’t count on it. That dang pay-phone might keep him busy. No one escape from Arkham City. No one. Enjoy your stay.
If You Scored 10 pts. or More: You’re Going to the city of Rapture
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If you’re not up for getting sand in your shoes, then maybe a day at the indoor water-park is more your speed. An exciting trip into the bottom of the sea with complementary in-house movie reels, free drug vending machines, friendly locals, beautiful art, Rapture is everything short of having that Little Mermaid crab singing for you. So party old-school like it was 1959 and soak in all of that undersea life. Wait--that was all a stupid hallucination, wasn’t it? Better yet, my vacation’s still a freaking nightmare. Should’a never test-ran that lousy hypo-dermic needle. Don’t even know that those girls scouts were trying to sell, though their dads seemed nice. Well, might as well go back to that sweet dream of freedom then. *Tttzzz* Ah. . . vacations from reality are always the best. . .
If You Scored 30 pts. or More: You’re Going to Skyrim
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You’re one special type of bad-ass: a dragon-born bad-ass to be precise. Hunting and killing things is as much a rush as riding off into the steepest and most dangerous of mountain passes just to jump off of them like a mad-man. You’re a wild-man bent on experiencing nature to its fullest extent, if not only to bring dominion over it. Maybe others might want to take a nature walk and watch some birds all afternoon, but why call ducks when you can slay them with the sound of your voice? It’d be even better if you didn’t get within footsteps of that achievement when (*gasp*) the screen flickers. “Bzzzrrr, System Error.” Fus Ro Dah!!!
If You Scored 40 pts. or More: You’re Going to Rome
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Ah, La Roma. A city of art, culture, politics, romance. . . and conspiracy. Conspiracy to assassinate to be more precise. You’re a well-rounded assassin extraordinaire and why not mix business with pleasure? With a city of mystery, history, and, errggh, those darn flags, you’ll be busier than a pointy-bladed bee making off with a ton of loot and taking names. Maybe you might stop by Leonardo da Vinci’s and think about causing a few time-paradoxes and have him open up a pizza joint. Or maybe you could just bide your time jumping off of stuff and enjoying the local “entertainment.” If you have to spend one more minute in blank voids though, maybe The Truth is best left unknown.
If You Scored 50 pts. or More: You’re Going to PNF-404 [Pikmin]
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You’re a hard-worker and sometimes you just don’t know when to quit and take a load-off. You’ve been in for a vacation for a long time, too bad it turned out to be a marooning. Still, why not make your crash-landing an opportunity? Sure, most of your trip is going to be about surviving the elements against the gross looking bug things trying to chomp you. On the other hand, getting to know the locals and put your green thumb to the test is a great way to get you back on your way and leave a little bit of tree-hugging goodness for future generations. Then again, you’re still a “dominion over nature” kinda person, so why not snag a few trinkets for yourself. After all, one person’s trash is another person’s poko good. Those fruit-lovers are just tree-hugging dorks, aren’t they? For the environment! (no disrespect intended to Koppai residents)
If You Scored 70 pts. or More: You’re Going to The Citadel
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Saving the galaxy can be a pretty big load to handle. There’s nothing like taking the edge off of worrying about the fate of your planet with a little R&R though and Mass Effect's Citadel is your best intergalactic mall of cultured high-society types, politics, bars, clubs, and rip-roar’in good party’in. In between your whole obligation to appreciate the museums and parks and those stupid war rhetoric meetings, you just wanna get down and funky with it. When you’re not pick’in up some fine guy/gal/scaly alien thing and getting some “personal” one-on-one, maybe you just might get to truly know your crew. Making those relationships that last a life-time (or at least 100 hrs. worth) is the stuff that makes vacations worth taking.
If You Scored 90 pts. or More: You’re Going To. . .
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With delightful sights, sounds, and titular amount of sunlight, Super Mario Sunshine’s Isle Delfino embodies the most satisfying summer locale in gaming history. Its tropical theme is lush and brimming with adorable folks every square inch and a terrific place for some summer fun. Delfino Plaza is one of the most beautiful hub areas in a Nintendo game to date and the view of the sun shining brightly against the city streets and washed out buildings is only matched by the crystal clear water that begs you to take a nice dip in it. Sure, your vacation wasn’t the one you expected. Your hosts originally locked you up and falsely charged you with cleaning up the island’s gunk, but all that delectable platforming entertainment made up for it as much as that juicy fruit did. Mm, fruit. Just too bad we couldn’t eat enough of it for realz. With sites like Bianco Hills, Ricco Harbor, Gelato Beach, and Pinna Park, Delphino is one big amusement park destination of fun and charm and one of the top video game vacation destinations.
Last but not least, if you chose “Yes” to the Super Special Bonus Question, you’ll receive. . .
Grand Prize Vacation: Wuhu Island
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Wuhu Island is easily one of the most fun places to visit in gaming. Is there any great outdoor activity you can’t do there? You can ride jet skies, go wake boarding, ride bikes, hang-glide, fly planes, etc., etc. of awesome. Couple that with the co-op vacationing that Wuhu Island offers and you have the makings of a vacation paradise. If you’re vacationing here, you’re certainly not sitting inside reading the newspaper. You’re outside having the time of your life and probably injuring yourself in the name of fun. Of course, when you’re not screaming with glee from up high on your jetpack, you could relax on that nice beach with a cool drink. Wuhu Island really does provide the total vacation package with something for everyone. Nintendo, if you eve make a theme park for us, buy a small island instead and make Wii Sports Resort a reality. It’s doubtful that anyone would ever let me pilot an airplane in their right mind, it would still be one heck of a vacation.
Thanks for playing everyone! Rate, comment, and tell us about what some of your favorite vacation memories are. Stay tuned for more quizzes, more awkward video-game references, and more blogs!