My time as the Nerevarine had drawn to a close and I moved from High School to College, I found myself talking about one thing with my friends: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Now, at the time my PC was in a near amazing, cutting edge state with a whopping 512MB graphics card and 3 gigs of ram (at the time I was the toast of my friends). So while some of my friends picked up a copy of the game for a console, I was playing with the settings on High on my CRT monitor.
"We Don't Even Exist"
With fond memories in my heart and my feet hitting the ground running, I began to make my way in Cyrodiil as the custom class stealthy warrior I had loved in the previous installment. And it was not long before I felt my pockets empty and my lust for mischief take hold. I was off to become a thief once more.
But something had happened. With the assassination of the emperor (right before my eyes), the guards of the Imperial City and all over Tamriel had begun to crack down upon criminal elements. Times were uncertain and a bit shaky. Two decades ago in Morrowind, most people could tell you about the Thieves Guild and their activities, to a point. Now, they had gone underground to avoid trouble and arrest. Everyone I spoke to didn't know how to contact them, or those that did refused to tell me. After spreading some coin around the beggars in the waterfront district, I was finally told to wait at night for a possible contact.
There I met a man named Armand Christophe. Initially, he was skeptical of my claims to want to join the thieves guild, prompting that it would be dangerous and foolhardy if I was unskilled. I persisted, so I was taken along with two others and given a test. We were to steal a diary from a house, unseen, and the first person to return would be invited into the ranks. Naturally, my two competitors and I raced off to the prize, but ultimately I was victorious. Upon my return, I was allowed into the fold as a "trial" member and some rules were laid down.
- Never steal from another member of the guild.
- Never kill anyone on the job. This is not the Dark Brotherhood. Animals and monsters can be slain if necessary.
- Don’t steal from the poor. The peasants and beggars are under the personal protection of the Gray Fox, particularly on the Waterfront.
The Gray Fox? Yes, it seems that things were not quite like they were in my time before. There had always been a leader, but this time the guild was run by the main man himself. A man so talented at thievery, he had stolen from a daedra prince. A man who seemed immortal, as he had founded the guild 300 years ago. And a man who was the personaly protector of the thieves and poor. The Gray Fox.
After introductions, I was told that until I had fenced enough value from stolen merchandise with a "doyen" (a lieutenant of the guild) that I was still a potential candidate and not a full fledged member. Also, I was to keep my head down and never speak of my interactions with the guild, even when I thought it was safe. With all the danger posed by the guards, especially the overzealous captain, it was best to pretend that the guild and all its members "didn't exist."
From Thief to Legend
It wasn't long before I had the expected amount of... questionable goods to sell to my contact and I was welcomed into the Guild officially. With the low rank of "pickpocket" I was well on my way to making a name for myself. At first, I was given a few smash and grab jobs as well as nicking a few baubles and trinkets for myself. Such was the way of a thief: if something is better than what I had... possession was 9/10 of the law, the other part was not getting caught. And so the ranks of "footpad" and "bandit" were put behind me. In my short time under my doyen adviser, I had stolen taxes that the guards had opted to collect in an attempt to put pressure on us, and even exposed a traitor in our midst and had them arrested by the very guards she was helping. It's amazing the kind of frame job an experienced thief can create.
As time went on an my guild rank rose, I had stolen quite a bit of equipment and riches. I was making waves in the old country, and I had surpassed my old rank of "prowler" and became a full fledged "cat burglar". However, the guild still had a thorn in our side. The captain of the guard "Hieronymus Lex" had sworn to root out every guild member, including our leader, the Gray Fox. But we had a plan. In his irritation and desperation, the captain had pulled most of the guards from the city and sent them to patrol the waterfront and other guild locations in a vein attempt to engage us. This left other parts of the city unguarded. Several prominent members, myself included, were going to steal some very valuable items from high priority targets so that the guards would have no choice but to return to their original posts and tarnish the captain's reputation in one fell stroke.
I was sent to the Mage's Guild where my target was the Arch Mage's staff itself. This was no easy assignment. If the members caught me, I would most likely be killed or at best arrested and thrown in jail for a very long time. It was a chore, and many mage denizens almost caught me, including the Arch Mage, but I was able to make away and disappear with only minor damage and problems. After my job was complete, I had to return the staff (after all, we didn't want the other guilds to despise us), though that part was much easier as I just planted the staff in another mage's house.
After the embarrassing situation was finally revealed, the captain of the guard had no choice but to recall his men. After that he was called to be the personal bodyguard of a noble woman in the court, and was duty bound to accept the position (which we may or may not have had a hand in doing). I was then told for all my hard work and skill I would be rewarded. I was promoted to "shadowfoot" and brought before our very leader himself... who had a very interesting offer.
To Lay The Groundwork
I was brought before the guy who called all the shots after much secrecy and security precautions. Before me sat an odd man in a gray cowl, bold as brass, and clearly very wise. It was there he congratulated me for my jobs well done and proposed the most impressive feat of daring and stealth skill I had ever heard of.
We were going to steal an Elder Scroll out of the most heavily guarded place in all of Tamriel.
Now, let me clarify a couple of things. One, I had never even contemplated what an Elder Scroll actually was or what it did. For all I knew, it was just a clever and cool sounding fantasy name for adventure games. Two, this plan was complex as hell and had multiple steps. I would be in for the long haul and basically there was no middle ground. It was either succeed or die trying.
I was in.
Before we could begin the task that still blew my brainhole open, we had to prepare and gather the right tools for the job. First I had to steal a stone from the Ancestor Moth's temple. The arduous journey took quite a bit of time but I found it. The monks inside were all blind (a side effect from reading the Elder Scroll) or at least covered their eyes. Sneaking past them was fairly easy, but actually obtaining the stone was another matter. While I had been given permission to slay the guards if need be, I had leveled my stealth prowess up through trainers and time and slipped by them, albeit with a few attempts.
After I returned with the stone I was then sent to "acquire" another item, the "arrow of extrication" which I was told would function as a sort of key. The tower and noble keeper of the arrow was not something that was easily outpaced, but the town of Bravil (in which it was housed) was very familiar to me and the noble already known. After slaying his minions I made my way back to the Gray Fox. The last tool, I was told, would be the "Boots of Springheel Jak". A master acrobat that lived over 300 years ago. I was given the owners location and identity, so I set out to find him. As it turns out he was a descendant of the same legendary acrobat Jakben, Earl of Imbel (that's an anagram of Jack-be-Nimble, wink wink, grin grin). Well, while he was cooperative at first, it turns out that the man was actually the same "Springheel Jak" from legend, just a vampire hiding his true identity. After killing him and his vampire companions, I took his boots which gave me a huge increase to my agility rating and I returned to my leader. He promoted me to "master thief" and told me that soon we would change the history of the world.
With all the pieces in place and the tools gathered, I prepared to scale the White-Gold Tower, the most heavily guarded building on the continent and steal a Scroll of immense and mysterious power.
The Ultimate Heist, To Steal the Tools of The Gods
In the dead of night, I entered the sewers of the city, winding through corridors and passages until I found the secret sub-basement. After dispatching the numerous pests and undead that hindered me (in a stealthy manner) I found a mysterious door. There, after solving a puzzle and killing more undead, I found a pedestal and a column in a statue. I realized the arrow i had been sent to retrieves wasn't like a key; it was a key. I practiced my shot with a few normal arrows and hit my mark. Then the secret passage to the palace opened and I made my way into the tower secretly.
Several guards patrolled the tower, and I very slowly made my way around them, drinking a few potions of invisibility to bolster my chances. After checking my directions and instructions several times I finally found the reading room and the chair I was to sit in. Upon sitting, a blind monk presented me with the item I sought. Taking care not to speak, so that they all assumed I was the scholar they were told was to be present, I took the scroll and began to sneak away. I had to ascend the tower, as my way in was a one-way ticket. The monks there were not blind yet, and their perception immense, but I had a few more invisibility potions to spare. I left the room and went into another hallway. The markers I had all pointed me to another room. When I opened the door, I found that my potion had broken, as they always do when I interacted with something. But there was a woman behind it, a battlemage, and she now saw me. She called the guards and began to casts spells at me. I hauled ass to the marker, knowing these elite guards would kill me quickly. I had one option: escape. After frantic running, I found my marker, an old fireplace that had a straight vertical tunnel. I equipped the boots of Springheel Jak, which allowed me to survive the incredible fall, and I was now outside the city.
All's Well That Ends Well
I had done it. I pulled of the most amazing testament of thievery ever conceived. When I returned to the guild master, he told me to go to a countess and take her a ring. After I gave it to her, she gave me a speech about how her long lost husband of ten years wore this ring. Then the Gray Fox sprung out and removed the cowl, revealing himself to be her husband. He told me that he received the cowl from the former guild master, and that it was actually the "Cowl of Nocturnal", the patron deadra-god(ess?) of thieves. It was stolen from her who then cursed it so that anyone who wore it would have their identity completely erased. No one would ever know who they were... but with the Elder Scroll, that curse could be lifted through its immense reality breaking power. He took the cowl off and told me that with the curse lifted, he renounced his life of crime. Naming me new guild master and giving me the cowl, he told me that time itself had shifted. The guild would now be prosperous, never having fallen on the hard times of the past, and we would have a guild hall where the first guild master (the one who stole the cowl in the first place) originally lived.
Upon arrival I was greeted with cheers as I wore the cowl and took the position of leader and Gray fox, unbeknownst to everyone else. Never had such a feat been accomplished. I had worked my way up from a no-named theif to head of the entire Thieves Guild of Tameriel. I had stolen a strange and powerful artifact that could defy gods and time from the very heart of the Empire, and now wielded a tool from a goddess.
I had become the King of All Thieves.
While I hold fond memories of Oblivion, I would say It wasn't quite as fun or rewarding as Morrowind. With the exception of the last mission, Oblivion wasn't quite as well rounded. However, both were incredibly great and the thieves guild missions were always the most fun I had with any of the series.
And there's still one more tale to tell.
